March 30th, 2022

Month 11

Hey friends!!! This month has been difficult.

I still have quite a bit of anger and bitterness built up inside of me that I need to let go of if I’m going to truly heal.

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.  Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness”. Kurt Vonnegut, Jr

B and I watched a movie a week ago, it was called “Deep Water”.  It was a pretty messed up movie about a married couple.  His wife had multiple affairs.  She would flirt with men in front of him, their friends, and their child.  But he stayed with her.  During this movie, we both realized that we had some built-up anger from past relationships.  This is the first time I had seen him react this way, usually, it was me. He has joked before and called me a “feminist” and a “man-hater”.  I asked him if that’s the way I come off.  He said, “sometimes you do”.  I realized; this is not the image that I wanted to project.  I don’t want to be a woman scorned.  I want to be a Woman healed.  “Hurt, people, hurt people”.  That’s not what I want to do.  If I continue this path, I will be just like my ex.  I saw the quote above on Facebook and I added it to my story.  B told me that I should have it blown up, framed, and hung in my house, as a reminder. It’s almost been a year since the split.  It’s time to finally let go and move on. I can’t let my past hold me back from my future any longer.

So, how do I do this?  It must be intentional.  I will need to train my brain to think positively and not negatively.  I have chosen to read affirmations and bible verses daily.

Affirmations:

1. Today I choose forgiveness over anger
2. Forgiveness is not a weakness; it allows me to experience true emotional and mental freedom. https://theyogamad.com/45-forgiveness-affirmations/
3. I forgive myself for all the times I gave away my power
4. Forgive. Because none of us are perfect.

Bible verses:

1. Ephesians 4:31- Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil.
2. James 1:20- For Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
3. Matthew 5:44- But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
4. John 8:7- Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Y’all pray for me. This “forgive but don’t forget” thing is harder than it looks.

Until next time. Thanks for following!!