July 25th, 2021

Disappointments Part 1 of 2

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com
I wish I could say it was an uneventful few weeks, but I guess I'm just not that lucky.  

It all started with my girls returning home from visiting family for the Summer.  I picked my oldest daughter up from the Airport. The next day I was supposed to meet my mother-in-law 3 hours away to pick up my youngest daughter. My Mom was supposed to meet me at 8 a.m. at my home and drive with me to pick up my daughter and we had planned to go shopping at Ikea which was nearby.  At the last minute, my mother-in- law called me to tell me she planned a trip to upstate N.Y. to visit family.  So, She asked if I could meet her at 8 a.m. instead of leaving at 8 a.m. (which meant I would leave around 4:30 a.m.). I felt like I had to say yes because we had already agreed to meet, and technically she was doing me a favor by bringing my daughter halfway instead of me driving the 6 hours to her home to pick her up.  So, I agreed.   

I called my mom to give her the news. She understandably explained to me that driving to my home at 4:30 a.m. was too early for her but told me to contact her when I got home and she would come to pick up the girls.  You see, I work the night shift so my parents are helping me by watching my girls now that my husband and I have separated.  I know, you're wondering, why can't he watch the kids?  Well, that's an entirely different conversation. So, later that night I was checking my email and realized that the new mattress that I had purchased was being delivered the next morning between 7 a.m. and 11 a.m. Talk about poor planning...Obviously, I can't be in 2 places at once so I had a small panic attack and did what any girl would do. I called my Mom. It did not go how I thought it would go. 

I called my Mom and asked if she would be willing to still drive to my house at 8 a.m. as planned so that she could be at my home when my mattress was delivered. She practically scolded me for not setting better boundaries. She told me that I should have told my Mother-in-Law that I was unable to meet her that early in the morning. I told her that I wouldn’t do that because my Mother-in-Law was doing me a favor by driving my daughter halfway to meet with me, so I felt like I should compromise with her. She then told me that I should call my husband and “tell” him that he needed to go pick up our daughter. I told her I was not going to do that either because he drove her all the way to his Mom’s house and it was my turn to bring her home. She then proceeded to criticize me for not asking for more in my separation agreement so that I wouldn’t be in a position where I had to ask for so much help from others. I was hurt. I cried and became angry with her. Finally, I just hung up on her. I began to pray and ask God for help.

“Man may let you down, but God can never fail. “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” Psalms 118:8

I felt helpless. Like my support team was just falling apart and I had no one to lean on except myself. And then I remembered, this is not the first time that the people I loved and trusted the most had not been there for me when I needed them. There was nothing I could do about this. So, I pulled myself together. I decided to leave my 16-year-old daughter home the next morning for the mattress delivery. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. the next morning and drove the 3 hours to pick up my daughter. She was so excited to see me. And just like that, nothing else mattered. She and I had breakfast and we went shopping at Ikea as planned. Then we drove back home. I called my Mom when I got home and she came to pick the girls up at 4 p.m. that evening. I even bought her the glass jars from Ikea she wanted to put her spices in. However, when I gave them to her, she said, “Thanks, but you only got four”? “I needed more than that”.

I was done.

Published by 12mos2heal

40 year old female sharing her story about betrayal and how to heal and become a happier me.

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